So, my first semester in college is over. It’s been a crazy ride. It went
by so fast, first of all. Like in the blink of an eye. I still can’t believe it.
It actually still seems like just yesterday I was starting high school, singing
in the choir, making new friends, falling in love, going through endless trials
and tribulations, actually succeeding in my junior year math class, learning a
new language, auditioning for a choir, getting into that choir and being apart
of a new family, watching my classes powder puff game end in a complete and
utter bullshit tie. (We totally won), to my senior outing, hanging out with my
classmates, to senior prom. It all went by so fast, much like this first
semester in college. I honestly remember being terrified to graduate, leave the
comfort of my hometown, my high school where I’d met people that changed my
life. I remember thinking freshmen-the first half of my senior year, I could not
WAIT to get out of what we all referred to as “hell hole” otherwise known as
O.H. Platt High School. Like I said, it was only until the second half of my
senior year that I felt this way. Once it hit a certain time of the year, it
actually made me sad to think of leaving everyone behind. My senior class was so
close. A lot of us had gone to school together since elementary school. We’d
been so used to seeing each other every single day for most of our lives. Now,
they’re not there anymore, and it’s weird. I’d met amazing people in high
school, including my choir director who seriously, changed my life. And I’m not
trying to come off cliché, but I honestly never thought of teaching a high
school choir, until him. He broke me from my comfort zone as well. I used to be
terrified to sing in front of people. Now, I could care less. I never wanted to
teach music, I just loved music, it was my way of expressing myself. Now, I’m
studying to become just like him. You see, the point of me summarizing my high
school career is to show you how far I came in those four years, and how far
I’ve yet to go, and how in just four short months, I’ve come even farther. See,
I changed a lot in high school. From my confidence level, to my weight and jean
size. Both extremely positive, by the way. And I think I’ve changed quite a bit
in these four months as well. These four months have been a crazy roller coaster
ride, filled with stress, tears, smiles and laughter. Along with lots of “I’m
not gonna do this now, I’ll get to it later”, “Maybe I’m not cut out for
this?”, “What the hell did I get myself into?”, “I just need some help”, “What
could that possibly mean?”, “I don’t even know what’s going on in this
class”, “I suck at math”, “I don't care about Neanderthals!” and a lot more. I
found myself wondering if maybe I should have taken a semester off, like the
financial aid office had almost forced me to do, but I’m a fighter, I wasn’t
going to let them just drop my schedule because they screwed up. I had found an
answer to most of the questions I had coming into college. The truth is, I
really didn’t think what I got myself into was a wise decision. But looking back
on the semester, I know I wouldn’t have it any other way. Yeah, it was hard. Of
course its hard, its college! Why did I ever think it would be easy? I recall
the feeling of dying to graduate and go to college. Now sometimes I long for the
simplicity that high school held. Am I weird for missing high school? Will I be
weird when I most likely miss college after graduating? I don't know, maybe to
some. But that’s kind of a normal thing for me. I always miss the old days. But
I digress, I look back on the past four months, and I feel like I’ve matured
quite a bit. Yeah, I procrastinated a bit and that’s my biggest downfall. Hell,
I’ve been trying to put off writing this since I woke up this morning, simply
because I’m feeling lazy. But when you just start doing your work, it takes all
the stress off you. Now, this is just one more thing to cross off my to-do list.
(Seriously, I have a to do list app on my phone.) I know now that not putting
things off and just sucking it up and doing it, helps you out in the long run.
It sucks to get started when all you wanna do is anything but your homework, but
in the end, you’ll have less stress and that’s a wonderful feeling. Looking back
on the mistakes I’ve made this past semester, I realize that making mistakes is
completely human. No one is perfect, so why was I trying to be “super college
student?” That’s never going to be me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get better
grades next semester by simply just doing my work when it’s assigned! I want to
correct a lot of the mistakes I’ve made along the way. I want to try harder. My
main goal for next semester is to absolutely ace every single tutorial I have. I
want to blow my professor away with my progress and make him proud. I want to
come back with a vengeance and prove that I really am a fighter and I’m going to
work damn hard for the things that I want. After all, I want to be a great choir
director like mine from high school? Well, then I’ve got to work my butt off to
get there. So next semester, I’m going to work hard, but am I going to try to be
the perfect college student? Absolutely not. I’m still going to hang out with my
friends and go to concerts,(which I do all the time, seriously if you saw my
twitter, you’d be surprised) and still have fun, while also buckling down and
just doing my homework and stop procrastinating so much! I still have to write
my anthropology paper. Which is completely outlined already, yet I’m still
putting it off because I procrastinate too much. I also chose to write this
blog, which is due after that paper! And that paper is due the same day as my
next concert I’m going to! So I’m not going to be doing this next semester. The
best thing to do would have been to do my anthro paper this past weekend. I’ve
still got time, but its possible I’ll keep putting it off. Anyways, I look back
on these past four months, and I smile.(I sound like I’m giving a speech at my
high school graduation.) I learned so much. I’ve grown. Yes, I’ve made mistakes,
but every freshmen in college, every student, every person on the planet has
made mistakes. We are only human. I don’t regret the decisions I made, since I
didn’t make any decisions that affect my health and well being. Unless you
consider staying up later to watch FRIENDS something that affects my health,
since its less sleep, but anyways. I feel like the majority of the decisions I
made were good ones. I didn’t hurt anyone, I didn’t hurt myself. I did my best
and made mistakes but I survived and I’ll do better next semester. Since I sort
of know what to expect now, no more adjusting is really needed, so it should get
a little easier in that sense from here. I’m excited to start my second
semester. But I’m also excited for a well deserved break, as I’m sure everyone
is. I wouldn’t change a thing about my first semester, except maybe the night
math class, which was totally out of my hands, but I survived that no matter how
much I hated it. I had a great experience in my first semester and I really
enjoyed myself and its made me like SCSU even more.
